An alternative to being gendered correctly
The first hill to die on is often chosen because people lack experience with other hills. The alternative is hard to define, and once observed, it always seemed obvious, but it really isn’t. The picture is of a notorious comedian named Lenny Bruce. What he brought to the table was that every single thing he said felt like crowd work, even when it wasn’t. This style of communication, as delightful and funny as it might seem, is very important because the style is to ignore X, Y, and Z and to bridge a connection and get the audience on your side while feeling what material works for them.
You might be asking yourself what this has to do with my transsexual predicament. The easy thing to do is read the room and see if there are a lot of red hats and men in camouflage. Figure out how to steer the conversation toward something that everyone agrees with. Even if it is a fake, trite, and meaningless thing, bring up shrinkflation and how your girl isn’t grateful. If you are dull and not too witty, you will land a dud. The price of gas or the weather is nice. Nothing is worse than crickets, but the more you feel out the audience, the better.
A nineteen-year-old girl comes at you with a Che Guevara T-shirt and pastel hair. It is safe to assume a few things. I don’t know what, but I imagine she wouldn’t know what a capital gains tax is. People often don’t want to learn things that they don’t believe to be just or fair, and the same can be said for the sexes, and that’s where you learn to push and pull. The red hat and camouflaged gentlemen and the nineteen-year-old really do wish for the same thing; this is the funny thing about people. What is better than to defer responsibility and believe everything you say? It’s quite intoxicating. I am guilty of these things, and when a person plays into them, I suddenly am happy to see them when I’m walking around downtown.
Exception to the rule
When I was young, I was living in Los Angeles and attending school. I was sitting next to a tall and thin Latino man who had to commute to get to this class because it was not offered at any other community college in the area. The class started around seven at night. He wore a Chicago Bulls hat and a white T-shirt, and he wore long black shorts. While there was down time, he leaned over and pointed to my shirt, which I was wearing. It was a clockwork orange shirt, and he started to talk about Stanley Kubrick. There was nothing I knew that he didn’t already know, and more. very good taste, to say the least, then I got a little bit curious about what he was doing. I felt something just didn’t quite fit, so after a while, I asked, and it turned out he was an assistant photographer.
When you are trying to read someone, you can only go so far before you stumble upon something they really like that makes them different. This is why sweeping generalizations never work. While reading the room, it is wise to push but never declare an observation until it is safe, yet when you land an observation like a shot in the dark, nothing feels better. We are constantly playing a fickle game where inferences are safe until they are not. It really comes down to the audience, and just like me and you, everyone has inside jokes with their pals and even deeper things they wouldn’t share with anyone. What you are doing is looking at the waves and expecting to know what the sea floor looks like from the waves.
Self awareness
This is where it really gets fun because we are not comedians who are quick on the mic. We are ladies with cocks, and it is just as difficult a situation. So this is what we do: while we look at a person or the audience, we take their pulse. This can work in any situation. Walk up with your old name and dress nicely as a man, and if you are pretty, they will consider a few things that will be easy to pick up on. The more you practice, the better you will get. Oh, and a word to the wise: if you ask the men in red hats on a day that you are gorgeous, they will say you look like a man. If you ask the Che Guevara T-shirt wearing Yahoo if you look like a man, and you do, she will reassure you that you look like a woman.
